May is for Moms-Part 1

Saw this post about Mom's on Not in Jersey, and thought it was a great idea.

May is for Moms: An interview with myself. Next week will be an interview with my mom. And the next week with my girls.

photo from Spring Break 2012. Kids today are 20, 16, 13, and 11.

 



Before you ever even had children, how did you feel about being a mother?

I was not one of those girls who dreamed of becoming a mom. My first child was not planned and I was still in school (college). I was scared and worried and nervous. But the minute he was born, I was fiercely in love and there was no looking back. My husband wanted 4, but told him no way, only 2. But I loved having babies and as each grew into a toddler, I would start dreaming about having another baby. That happened 3 times. Then we decided 4 was enough. We only had 4 hands to hold onto our babies' hands and so that was the perfect number.

 



 Since becoming a mother, what is something that has happened that you never thought would?

I honestly can't come up with a single experience. Every day has been a crazy, chaotic adventure. Many great days, and some not so great. But I would never consider changing a single thing about this life of mine. It's exactly where I'm supposed to be!

 

 

Is being a mother less difficult, more difficult or exactly how difficult you imagined?

It's so much more difficult. Well, let me go back in time. When they were all little, it was hard, but a hard I could handle. It was "don't put that rock in your mouth" and "look both ways before crossing the street" and "who colored on the sofa with the black sharpie" and "come pick up these toys before the dog eats them". Then they hit the teen years and I was so unprepared. It was so hard some days that I just wanted to lay down on the ground and die. Because my heart could not take one more moment. All I could think of was "This is not what my life was supposed to be like" and "what did I do wrong as a mom?" That lasted for about a year. Then I just came to accept that this was part of the process. My kids are just trying to find their place in the world and sometimes they make not so good choices (just as adults do). That all I could do was be there to love them and perhaps guide them, perhaps not (sometimes they do the exact opposite of what I suggest). But I love them fiercely and love to have them near me as much as possible and celebrate with them when they do make great choices.

 

What is your fondest memory of being a mother (so far)?

Every morning and every night. I know that sounds silly, but I enjoy the little moments so much! It's something that I've had to struggle with over the years, but there really are so many beautiful moments every day. A hug, a smile, a laugh. Seeing my kids smile and laugh makes me very, very happy!

 

 

 If your children only learn one life lesson from you, what do you hope it is?

I can't pick just one. I would like them to find their happy place. Find something to do every day that makes them happy. To refuel them during the hard times. I know they have difficult choices to make every day, but they need to have joy every day too. I would also like them to take responsibility for their choices. That if they make a mistake, to realize that they made the choice, and to choose differently next time. And to look at the bad choices as a learning experience.
 

Want to join in? You can link up with Hooah and Hiccups by clicking here. Or just stop by to read other moms' posts if you don't blog yourself.