Today I wanted to talk about that baby that is joining our family in May 2013. I have mentioned it a few times, but I feel like I need to share more. I want to remember my feelings right from the beginning.
I'm going to have a grand baby.
There. I said it. Or typed it. Whatever.
Trevor and Chelsea are pregnant.
I am so surprised by the different emotions that I feel over this little one.
I'm shocked. I'm upset. I'm excited. I'm worried. I'm scared.
Shocked. Yes. Even though I knew it could happen. But still, when those words came tumbling out of my son's mouth it was like all the air got sucked out of my lungs. And I knew. I knew the night before when we all met up for family dinner. And I knew the moment my son said he needed to talk to me. And yet, I was shocked.
Upset. This is not the best time for them. They need time to grow up. They need to figure out who they are and what they want for themselves before they have to shift their focus to a little one. They are so young. And yet, they are really not that much younger than Mark and I when we had Trevor.
Excited. This one confuses me, because it feels wrong to be excited. But that's crazy! Why should I not feel excited. I know in my heart I will be crazy in love with my grand baby. And one of my initial thoughts was "when can we take the baby to Disneyland?" Crazy!
Worried. Back to Trevor and Chelsea and how ready they are for this adventure. Will they have enough money? Will their relationship be strong enough to weather the tough times ahead? But really, isn't that a concern for every couple?
Scared. I find this emotion to be the oddest one. What if something goes wrong? What if Trev and Chelsea break up? What if I don't get to see the baby enough? I'm one of those people who play the "What if" game way too much. This is something I need to work on.
Anyone have any advice? Words to share?
Oh yeah. Almost forgot. I'm completely against taking the name Grandma. It makes me feel too old. And I want something a little more unique. I'm leaning toward Ya Ya (Greek for Grandma), but my family thinks that is a stupid name. Anyone have any other suggestions?
Did I mention that when I saw that ultrasound picture I cried. Bawled. And fell in love.
Yes, I did.
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